"It's ok to laugh, it's really ok to laugh as per when she was flaunting the wealth were we enjoying it with her? It's okay, but nobody ever flaunts their sadness"
These are R D's words, uttered with te@rs. Te@rs indeed have a way of melting even the hardest of hearts. I have tried to be detached in her marital cri.sis and confined myself to drawing general lessons for everyone, but I think something has shifted and pushed me to my default setting: symp@thy for the perceived vic.tim or the weak. That's where I am now on this issue.
Firstly, let's pay attention to her words. She said nobody flaunts their sadness. She is absolutely right, and I hope we learn from this.Every human being craves for admiration, approval, ovation, patronage and everything that bloats the ego. Social media enlarges that craving and feeds it furiously.
The problem is not with those who flaunt only what they want you to see, it is you who see only what they flaunt. Then you foolishly and ignorantly define yourself by what they make you see. You see yourself as the most unfortunate person on earth, their virtual reality becomes your fantasy. You become disenchanted with your situation and lives only with the wish and hope of tasting their exotic dish at least before you die.
You define them as the fortunate ones while you are the unfortunate one, they become for you a prayer point, you type amen to their declarations, you tap into their 'blessings' and pray that their God becomes your God because your God is different from theirs. They end up making you think their lives are all sunshine, no skin pain at all, no sadness, just pure happiness.
You even think their sadness is happier than your happiness and your happiness is sadder than their sadness. Their utterances and actions become a gospel for you: "it is better to cry in a Lamborghini than to laugh in a keke".
Fortunately for you and I, the writer of that strange 'Ned Nwokoik gospel' has debunked it finally. Now you know that some people in Keke are having a better life than some in Lamborghini. It takes more than owning Lamborghini to be happy in life, sadness doesn't respect even private jet.
R D alleges that Ned forced her into dr.ugs and did all sorts to her. Ned is wealthy, has political power and connections to power brokers. In a country like Nigeria, people like him can get away with anything. Until and unless a thorough investigation is made, I would give R D benefits of doubt as the victim here. I will see her as the victim, even if she could be blamed for certain things.
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How did a young girl who never did dr.ugs all her life end up doing it in the house of a man who could easily tell her literally how to live her life? Without prejudice to Ned's right to fair hearing, I think RD should enjoy our sympathy for now. She's crying out for help, she's distraught and she looks all of it.
For the sake of the weaker ones who easily get bullied by those with wealth and power, let everyone at least extend sympathy to R.D. We may not stick out our necks for her, but let's not poke our fingers at her pains. She's already learning her lessons in a hard way.
My point is, no matter what people do, don't rejoice when they cry. Even if they self inflicted themselves, we must find our ' church minds' to show compassion and even help where we can. Don't mock the pains and misery of anyone, even your enemies, don't.
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